Toms River Man Celebrates Passing Field Sobriety Test By Shooting Himself In the Head

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Friday, 7 January 2011

image for Toms River Man Celebrates Passing Field Sobriety Test By Shooting Himself In the Head

A 53-year-old motorist who used a utility pole to stop his car celebrated passing his field sobriety test by shooting himself in the head, said Toms River, NJ police.

"Our officer was patrolling his usual route, trolling for drunk a--holes driving over from Seaside Heights, when he saw the victim crash into a tree," said Toms River, NJ Police Chief Michael "Snooki" Mastronardy. "He was administered a field sobriety test, which he passed."

"He said he needed something out of his car," said Dover Township resident Jon-Erik Hexum. "He said something about what this would do to his insurance rates, and then he shot himself in the head."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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