Tokyo - Speech expert Dr. Hotseetanuka is alarmed today at the sudden onset of stuttering that is afflicting "Nuclear Experts". Many such "experts" are being consulted today with regards to the nuclear catastrophe here.
Surprisingly, they are suddenly all plagued with uncontrollable stuttering and stammering. Dr. Hotseetanuka thinks that current events may be behind the sudden fat tongued gibberish exuded by these "experts".
Dr. Hotseetanuka noted that the afflictions started when the "experts" were called upon to comment on today's recent nuclear disaster here.
"They just stuttered and stammered like they were about to be kicked out of history class", winced Dr. Hotseetanuka. "Perhaps they are looking ahead and don't see any future for their 'expertise'", he noted.
In a related story, containers full of dollar bills are being sent from Washington to Japan to help in the relief effort, along with tons of aspartame.