WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – President Biden has just signed what insiders are saying is without a doubt his most favorite PEO since taking office. White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki informed the news media that the site for the brand new…
Secrecy surrounding the location of the UK’s nuclear deterrent was severely compromised on Monday afternoon when HMS Victorious unexpectedly surfaced a mile off Clacton-on-Sea. Crew members were seen by holidaymakers clambering along the hull of t...
President Trump has signed an executive order with new Energy rules. The first is that all nuclear reactors must switch to coal as an energy source. Trump's new rules also require burning books to use for heat and energy, since, as Trump says, "n...
Scientist at the Glowing Fellow Nuclear Research and Development Center (GFNRDC) in Boulder, Colorado have discovered the God Particle can cure someone of kleptomania. The discovery was made when kleptomaniac, Joey Fingers, went to nuke a burrito in...
A strange, ancient leather, battered suitcase was given to a Welsh charity shop in Porthmadog, Gwynedd, (for US readers = Gobbledygook) and the strange, anonymous owner of the suitcase, bearing an Eastern European accent, disguised as the Elephant M...
Sparking an international incident while still trying to secure the GOP nomination for president, Donald Trump called the leader of North Korea "Lil' Kim" several times in a rambling incoherent foreign policy statement, "This guy, Lil' Kim is a mania...
Just outside room 219, a large composed group of media personnel appeared to question Nurse Draw. She confirmed that Jeb Bush, had authorized his medical records be opened to the public. The previous night, asked if he mispronounced the word "nucl...
PENTAGON - Following his interview with YouTube sensation Glozell Green, President Obama was so impressed with the human bundle of energy that he announced she will be replacing the worthless and lame Secretary of State, John Kerry, in ongoing nu...
Pyongyang, August 12, 2014 - North Korea threatened today to shoot rockets at themselves as proof that it is ready to confront any threatening country. North Korean state news agency KCNA said that warmongering and provocative rhetoric of North...
HMS Tireless, a Trafalgar-class nuclear submarine, was recently despatched to the Indian ocean to help in the search for the lost Malaysian aircraft, MH370. The Royal Navy has a proud history of 'finding' submerged objects such as other submarines an...
The CIA and now the intelligence agencies in France and England are picking up a lot of chatter but cannot tell where it is coming from. "It seems that the two words that were plain were 'Kosher Nukes' or something like that", stated a spokesman a...
Sara Palin expanded today on her remarks made last week at a Republican Convention. There, after hinting she might run for President, she instructed President Obama on foreign policy. "The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good gu...
In a surprise announcement this morning the Treasury Secretary, Danny Alexander, has disclosed a 'third option' for the austerity Trident programme. Rather than cutting the committed contracts for the boats themselves, the government will keep 3 out...
Sent From My Y-phone Washington, DC POTUS will momentarily begin speaking to assembled reporters here in the Rose Garden. POTUS is walking to the podium with the Nuclear Football. He opens it and takes out a big red push-button with an antenna sticking out of it and sets the red button on top of the podium. Is he Fkng crzy ? "Good afternoon everyone. Lester, that includes you too. I be...
TOKYO (SAPP) - After many years of international pressure to stop whaling, sources close to the prime minister of Japan, Yoshihiko Noda, have admitted that whaling has become a vital source of energy for the country. Members of Mr. Noda's inner circl...
The latest nuclear missile attempt by North Korea has inexplicably exploded while being studied on a modeling program on a Macintosh personal computer, sources inside North Korea have reported. A spokesman for the source said he had "really nev...
Tehran, Iran - A devastating explosion that leveled a missile firing range near Iran's capital city was caused by a waffle iron, rather than by sabotage which had first been feared. The appliance short-circuited during a ballistics test, igniting...
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