After the successful test of its first ever Giant Death Ray, China has reiterated to U.S. officials that it is in no way meant to challenge or threaten American military interests in the Pacific or elsewhere.
In a statement released during Defense Secretary Robert Gates's visit to Bejing, which included meetings with senior Chinese military officials, President Hu Jintao expressed that the tests 'are a sign that China is ready to step up to its role as a peacemaker in the world.'
The US military currently has its own Death Ray deployed in Iraq, but it is not of the magnitude or power of the new Chinese Death Ray.
'As death rays go, this is a big one.' Said a top Navy official. 'We need to have better Death Rays than they do, otherwise they'll beat us, and we won't be on the cover of Death Ray Monthly.'
Leaked videos of the test, showed a cannon the size of a football stadium firing a blast of plasma energy at a life-sized cardboard cutout of George W. Bush.
While some saw this as an sign that the Death Ray might be used to target the American military, Secretary Gates had a different view.
'George W did more damage to our country than any Death Ray could ever do. If anything, this test shows that the Chinese are on our side more than ever,' Gates said.