Now with a porn star taking down a president (ah, that old Harlequin Romance, that old soap opera, that old cliché) other porn stars want in on the deal. Once, porn stars (females anyway, maybe the guys too – straight, not gay … gay has always bee…
China wants more Chinese people, so it’s offering free fertility treatments. Not long ago, China had a policy of one child only – so lots of girl babies were murdered according to the state’s wishes. Unfortunately, a fascist state can make things…
TWICKENHAM, England - (UK Satire) - Twickenham Times Telegram reporter Tango Brisket has just proclaimed that the 707th Queen's Elite Infantry Regiment has defeated one of Russia's top regiments The 19th Infantry Regiment, which is headquartered in M…
The 90s indie band REM famously sang the miserable dirge, Everybody Hurts, but is it really true? Certainly not for lepers. Leprosy is a disease which leads to nerve damage. There is a common misconception that it leads directly to the loss of lim…
(NOT EDITED) CAMEL KEBAB, Afghanistan – (Satire News) – Afghanistan’s Mirage News has admitted that a member of the Afghan army has shot one of his own fellow soldiers. General Attula Hay Booboolay, stated somewhat embarrassingly, that he cannot d…
An Iranian tanker seized by Royal Marines off Gibraltar earlier this month, was taken with "the minimum of force" says the Ministry of Defence, but the tanker's Indian captain claims that all depends on your interpretation of the word 'minimum'. T...
London: Army personnel have been drafted in to disperse protesters angry at the appointment of Boris Johnson to the head of the Conservative Party, and, as a consequence, to the position of British prime minister. The protesters, who had come with...
It has long been reported that the numbers of ex-servicemen who attend Remembrance Sunday events are falling. Now it appears that many of them are simply forgetting to turn up. We asked some of them to try to understand why. Geoff De'ath, 81, of M...
Washington - President Trump has announced that, as a result of his order banning transgender soldiers from serving in the U.S. Military, that he has ordered the removal of one Corporal from his army unit serving on the Korean Peninsula. "It has c...
At last we caught a break and one of our military devices worked. As you know, many of our drone operators have become neurotic from the stress of operating drones and wacking the enemy. We find a lot of these drone pilots (or droners, as we call...
London - The British Chief of the General Stuff said today the new elite fighting corps(e) will be deployed 'as bait' on stealth missions in the upcoming Game of Sardines against Jihadi scum. Troops disguised in Ali Baba costumes will root around...
It's been six months since Russell Brand's interview with Jeremy Paxman on "Newsnight" in which he predicted a revolution against the current government. Not many took it seriously, but fast forward to this week and I'm being led down a dark and din...
The first thing that will happen after a terrorist bombing, tornado, earthquake, bank hold-up will soon be a drone. Plans now being drawn up by emergency responders like police, firemen, even soldiers will be a drone or team of drones to check out...
It's non-lateral thinking time from the lads at the Ministry of Defence it would seem, after recent widespread and punitive cuts to Britain's armed Forces it appears there is now a shortfall, excluding the girl guides and the WVS of course. Thus,...
PHILADELPHIA - The City of Brotherly Love was nothing but, as the Navy Midshipmen soundly defeated the Army Black Knights by a score of 34-7. The game was halted early in the third quarter when two clowns ran onto the field. The two were placed in...
TOLEDO, Ohio - Ever since he was a youngster Titus Hank Hookerhaus has always loved to dabble in the world of inventions. Well 19 years of dabbling have finally paid off as he has just invented the biggest army penknife in existence. The knife...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Reports coming out of the U.S. Department of The Army state that the military branch will soon be coming out with new guidelines regarding ink art or tattooing as it is commonly called. The Secretary of The Army Johnny McHugh is...
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