South Africans find creative ways of using vuvuzela - Portable urinals and sex toys top the list

Funny story written by shea lo

Tuesday, 9 November 2010


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CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA: - Thanks to the 2010 soccer World Cup, sports fans have become acquainted with the annoying drone of vuvuzelas - those long plastic horns guaranteed to cause tinnitus.

What to do with the remaining hundreds of vuvuzelas? No problem. South African artists have gone to town putting the plastic horn to innumerable uses. From earrings, candle-stick holders and decorative door-knockers to hanging lamps and chandeliers - the little horn has gone through numerous incarnations.

Yesterday, a panel of South African judges comprising artists and designers voted 'earrings' as the best reuse of the vuvuzela.

This has angered many other artists who feel they have been even more creative. Big chief Bambooka Bozana - whose tribe has been using vuvuzelas as urinals, led hundreds of rioters through the streets of Johannesburg to protest their dismissal from the competition:

"We have wukked verra hard on our creation. It is a good way to urinate but the Ministah of Bladders has deceived us", he intoned deeply.

In other towns many South African husbands also went on a rampage when they discovered that their wives had also entered the competition with their creation of gaudily decorated, prsonalized sex-toy vuvuzelas.

"This is ridiculous. How can we compete with these huge devices?" roared Mattyyoo Bulabela.

There was no comment from their wives who marched silently through the main boulevard holding their personalized vuvuezlas in front of them wearing nothing but huge smiles.

It is understood that these ladies have already received thousands of requests for delivery of their re-designed vuvuzelas from lonely British hags who have been robbed & deceived by their real-life African toy-boys.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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