Sooner or later it was bound to happen. Death by vuvuzela. Sad news. The world's fattest woman [WFW] is dead. Vuvuzela'd to death by her over-eager lover - the worlds fattest man [WFM].
A disconsolate WFM wept torrents as he told paramedics:
"I only wanted to please her but I guess I just couldn't help myself. I was trying out new melodies - sort of like Satchmo. But I just lost control."
He told reporters at the grizzly scene:
"I've been blowing on her vuvuzela for oh so long I never thought it would end like this. She was my greatest love. I thought she was having a good time so when she passed out I tried to give her the kiss of life. I blew even harder on her vuvuzela. But I guess I misunderstood becoz the more I blew the more she moaned. So I kept on blowing - real hard - and then she was gone - my beautiful WFM - my very own Two-ton Tessie"
Investigators at the scene remained tight-lipped but rumors persist that WFW's equally humongous younger sister might have had a big hand in this.
