Vajazzle: The New Vagina Or Vuvuzela?

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 23 September 2010


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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image for Vajazzle: The New Vagina Or Vuvuzela?
Or death?

A writer on satirical news website became confused, then disorientated this morning, when, after logging-on to the site, he became aware of a new word that he hadn't happened upon before - vajazzle.

The man - me - noticed the word in a variety of different headlines on the Homepage, and began to wonder just what it meant. He initially guessed that the new 'v' word - perhaps a distant cousin of other popular 'v' words like vagina and vuvuzela - might have some sexual connotation, and he fantasized over this.

Unable to face the dinner served up for him by the school where he works, the man traipsed the one hundred yards in the searing heat to the Lemon Green petrol station across the road, giving considered consideration to what this new word might mean, and if it would prove important.

He purchased a chicken pie and a chocolate biscuit, and returned to the school, convinced vajazzle had something to do with vuvuzelas, though he was at a loss to prove this one way or the other.

When this, too, seemed rather far-fetched, he allowed his mind to explore other possibilities, some, or all, of which, may have been entirely, or partially, correct or, indeed, incorrect.

"'Vajazzle' has all the attributes of a word that has connections with vagina," he told himself, "yet its 'second half' seems to imply a bright shining object or effect, as in the word bedazzle. Hmmmm..."

Of course, all of this was pure supposition, the man's mind working 'ten-to-the-dozen' in order to blot out the sad details of his private life, which is, at this very moment in time, crumbling like a jigsaw puzzle being thrown off a table.

And finally ...

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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