A must read if you want to live a long, healthy life

Funny story written by Lady Godiva

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

image for A must read if you want to live a long, healthy life
Tea anyone?

Scientists and Medical Researchers around the world are putting their heads together and exchanging more than head lice.

Studies are constantly being carried out to help us all live longer, happier and more productive lives. Here are some recent findings published in a UK National Newspaper.

* Four cups of coffee a day 'reduces risk of oral cancer'


* Drinking more than four cups of TEA a day can increase
women's risk of developing rheumatoid arthritis.


*Drinking scalding tea increases the risk of throat cancer (note: burns your throat too!)

* Green tea can prevent heart disease and cancer, cure acne and can be used as a mouthwash. It is also believed to protect us from glaucoma.

* Men with big muscles cut cancer risk by 40 per cent

* Drinking two cups of coffee a day 'cuts stroke risk by 20 per cent'.

Do the math! If you are a very muscular, effeminate man, who drinks four cups of coffee per day and drinks no more than 4 cups of luke warm GREEN tea a day, you are likely to: reduce your risk of getting oral cancer, throat cancer, rheumatoid arthritis, heart disease. You will also have extremely clear skin and fresh breath.

Skinny women, on the other hand, who drink only one cup of coffee a day and five cups of scalding hot 'black' tea a day, will definitely run the risk of developing rheumatoid arthritis, throat cancer, glaucoma, heart disease, develop acne, suffer from halitosis as well as running the risk of having a stroke.

So what's the answer to a long, health, happy life?

The researchers are still trying to figure it out.

My advice, move to the mountains of Tibet. Many people there regularly live to be well over a hundred.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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