After an exhaustive search throughout The Netherlands, The Dutch police have discovered the body of Benedictine condom-king, Rameses Trojani, floating in a backwater canal in Amsterdam. The grisly discovery was made by a "painted woman" servicing a monk in a phone booth when she saw a giant condom, with the smiling face of Pope Benedict on the reservoir, suddenly pop up in the adjacent estuary. "That's a real mouthful," she was heard to exclaim.
Inside the condom was stuffed the nose-less, ball-less corpse of Mr. Trojani, according to the police. "It was terrible," said one of the junior officers. "When we fished him out, he just looked like one big blood sausage looking to rest near a plate of scrambled eggs."
The Minister of Justice, Heimie Sveslerdam, accused The Vatican of high crimes and misdemeanors in this affair. "The crime may have been committed in our fair country, but it was The Vatican that pulled the Mephistophelean strings and who knows Mephistopheles better than a Pope from Deutschland!"
So far, attempts to extradite the Pontiff have been unsuccessful due to a well-paid choir of lawyers.
