The Amsterdam District Attorney, Hans Leeouenoveck, has subpoenaed His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI, in the investigation of the disappearance of Rameses Trojani.
"This whole case smells worse than five loaves of bread and two fish. It's more like 5 fish and 2 loaves of bread," said Mr. Leeouenoveck.
The D.A. then proceeded to convince the journalists at the news conference his reasoning.
"Here you have Mr. Trojani who never did anything controversial in his life except for his prurient sex shops. Then he creates this Pope Benedict condom as a social commentary and then he immediately disappears. Well, except for his nose and testicles. We have those. What does that tell you? It tells me that the Pope is complicit in his abduction and his mutilation. The Carmelite nuns may have done the dirty deed, but it was done under orders from high up…from The Vatican."
So far, The Vatican has not commented officially about the Papal subpoena. Rumor has it that the College of Cardinals is trying to figure out what "subpoena" means.
