Written by Aspartame Boy

Thursday, 23 October 2008

image for World's Richest Man Completes World Conquest
World's Richest Man Cracks - Pressed against the bullet proof plexiglass boundry of his huge estate

FATICAN CITY - Italy UPDATE 1 - The owner of the worlds largest estate cracked this morning. The sad account of this man's fate is revealed in this scoop.

For years, Charl Scwab increased the size of his estate. Starting with a ranch in Texas, he often bought out the property around him, moving his fence back, further and further.

Eventually, his fence encircled the globe on a great circle: so vast was his real estate holding, spanning many countries.

Then as his estate grew even further, the advancing fence line of his estate enclosed all but a small portion of land in China.

One day, when Charl woke up, he found himself outside his vast estate, in the one remaining small patch of land he had not yet purchased, standing on the bodies of 4 billion people.. people who had been killed, and well preserved, by eating too much aspartame.

How did he wind up outside his estate? Sleep walking? No; it seems Charl had grown lonely and seeking the company of other humans, had scaled his own wall.

The sight of so many dead people must of touched him, as he lost his mind.. the last living mind on the planet.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: rich, genocide




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
22 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more