Children Of Rich People Are Stupid B*stards

Written by Jesus Budda

Tuesday, 22 April 2008

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Children Of Rich People Are Stupid B*stards
This is how stupid f*cking rich fools change their pants

Its official: the children of wealthy folk are incredibly stupid and ignorant. So say statisticians at Cambridge University, England who have concluded a five-year study into the intelligence of the spawn of rich bastards.

"97 % of these ignorant rich f*ckers are clinically brain-dead", said Ivor Lott of the University's intelligence department, "the remaining 3% are either hopelessly thick or simply mentally inferior to a cow".

In the comprehensive study, the Professor took a cross section of societies wealthy and questioned their offspring.

"Aristocrats, Entrepreneurs, and Business and Media people's children were asked to perform a few simple tasks", said the Prof, "For instance, Prince William was instructed to make a sandwich. Instead he stuck a helicopter propeller blade up his bottom and went to his girlfriend's house.

"The ginger one was worse. He put his penis in his mouth, dressed like Hitler and rode around naked on his grandmother".

Children of rock stars were also pretty f*cking stupid too.

"Mick Jaggers children were asked to go upstairs and fetch a silver spoon", said the Prof, "they couldn't do it and said that they could only walk down runways at fashion shows - and even at that, only if they were paid $10 thousand".

A study into the spouses of rich bastards is now under way and it is expected to show that the wives and husbands of the wealthy are stupid, ignorant pricks who do nothing but organize charity events, attend book launches and wear ponchos.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more