A new "get rich without doing any work" scheme, previously favoured by pyramid sellers, multi-level marketers, email spammers and Bettaware, has been hailed as the latest 'British Success' by the CBI, who, to quote TV celebrity Vicky Pollard, "don't know nuffin 'bout nuffin".
Launched only weeks ago by former Wormwood Scrubs tenants "Nobby" Filth, "Knuckles" Brandreth and "Razor" McMahon, the scheme has already created several millionaires.
Requiring an investment of only £2.50 for a pair of black, size 10, Lycra tights from M&S, plus a car, some petrol and a baseball bat, their new scheme, 'Robbery with GBH' is proving a relatively easy way to turn £2.50 into several tens of thousands of pounds.
Angie Murphy, a former hairdresser and part-time bricklayer from Doncaster, who was said to be initially quite sceptical when she went to meet her 'upline' manager, was quite amazed at being able to earn £73,000 from her local branch of NatWest within 3 minutes.
However, Billy "Scud" Roche from Bexley Heath was a little more sceptical. He said:
"I tried to use my new knowledge on a local post office, but couldn't find one anywhere that hadn't been shut by the government. It's so hard when there are such obstacles in the way of making a decent, dishonest day's wage."