Western Media 'demonises' demons says The Devil

Funny story written by cheesehoven

Sunday, 13 April 2008

image for Western Media 'demonises' demons says The Devil
The Devil speaks out

The Devil has accused the Western media of demonising his unholy supporters and says there are "complicated problems" in administering international evil.

Satan also said that a young Chinese woman asked him: "What's happened to good manners?" after protesters attempted to extinguish the flaming brand of demonic hellfire as Satan's followers ran with it through London.

Many of the visitors from hell who were in London last week felt that Britain was against them, He added.

Satan said in The Democratic Demon (formerly called Satanism Today) that the democratic people's republic of hell "loved" their eternal suffering.

The Lord of the flies wrote: "I am concerned that mutual perceptions between the people of Hell and the West are quickly drifting in opposite directions.

Hell's objective

"Of those who protested loudly, many probably have not seen the infernal underworld. For the damned, Hell is a loved land and information about it is ample. Contrary to Western propaganda, we do not censor the outside world using the so-called great hellfirewall.

"There may be complicated problems of extending our demonic domain over the earth, but people of the underworld are well-fed, well-clothed and well-housed. We make sure they are warm, have sufficient work and eat according to their just desserts.

"That has been the main objective of Hell for centuries. Earth may not quite grow into an industrial place like the democratic people's republic of Hell, but it is growing more like Hell everyday."

According to BBC political correspondent, Laura Kuenssberg, officials from the British Foreign Office suggest that one way to settle disputes about biased reporting would be for Satan to allow the international press free access to Hell.

But The Devil says that Western media has to earn Hell's "respect".

He said: "Many complain about Hell not allowing enough access to the media. In Hell, the view is that the Western media needs to make an effort to earn respect.

"Coming to Hell to report bad stories would not be stopped, as Hell is committed to opening up."

Satan later added that the resemblance between Hell and China had been "exaggerated".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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