New Yorkers Protest Beijing Olympics by Boycotting Chinese Take-out

Funny story written by BCon

Saturday, 12 April 2008

image for New Yorkers Protest Beijing Olympics by Boycotting Chinese Take-out
Tiffany Rubin-Gonsalves feels empowered to boycott Beijing Olympics.

Not all young New Yorkers are self-absorbed, oblivious to world affairs and unsympathetic to global socio-cultural plights. A grass-roots effort is taking shape in Manhattan.

To protest the 2008 Olympics being hosted by China, thousands of New York City residents have signed an e-mail petition to swear off take-out Chinese food for at least 5 business days.

Said C. Smithington-Russo, "China is one of the world's worst human rights offenders, and I personally wish to send a message of protest in the strongest way I know how - by hitting the Chinese economy where it hurts most - at the cash register. So if skipping a few nights of Moo Shu Pork or Chicken in Garlic Sauce (made not so spicy, please) is the price I must pay, well then, it's my cross to bear."

His next-door neigbor of two years, whom he does not know, Tiffany Rubin-Gonsalves, agrees. "If just half of the residents of our midtown condo joined in this take-out boycott, imagine the impact!

"There are 788 apartments in our building alone. That would voice a huge message to the Chinese. I feel empowered already, and stronger than any Urban Kickboxing class could ever make me."

The owner of the Tibetan restaurant around the corner was unavailable for comment due to a chock-full schedule involving recent expansion efforts.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more