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Funny satire stories about satanists

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Funny story: The Lyin’ In Winter

The Lyin’ In Winter

Washington DC - (Rotters): The GOP inaugural committee is being sued for malfeasance in a pubic orifice for switching the Malleus Maleficarum - Hammer of Witches - satanic primer with the customary Lincoln Bible for Donald Trump’s pledging of the Pr...

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Funny story: Devil’s In The Detail In Mueller Report

Devil’s In The Detail In Mueller Report

Washington DC, USA - Donald Trump was initiated into the British Hellfire Club according to Chapter 666 of the Mueller Report. De-redacted federal papers describe events circa 1963 when the ageing Queen Mother acted as a ceremonial douche - uh, su...

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Funny story: Church of Satan Sues Led Zeppelin

Church of Satan Sues Led Zeppelin

Auntie Sandra Levi, High Priestess of The Church of Satan, filed a lawsuit this week alleging that rock band Led Zeppelin plagiarized the copyrighted liturgy of her church. "When they recorded the subliminal Satanic lyrics in Stairway to Heaven, t...

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Funny story: "Minions" Movie Full of Subliminal Satanic Messages

"Minions" Movie Full of Subliminal Satanic Messages

Reverend Gerry Fallguy, minister at the Suffering Jesus Christ Baptist church in Atlanta and founder of the Moral Immaturity movement, called reporters to his church last week to announce a startling discovery: "I took my kids to see the "Minions"...

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Funny story: No satanists in North Pole, Akaska when I was Governor says Sarah Palin

No satanists in North Pole, Akaska when I was Governor says Sarah Palin

Juneau, Alaska - "Bigfoot sightings, yes! Weird Russian-speaking aliens, yes! But satanists? On MY watch?? There were categorically NO satanists in North Pole or anywhere else in Alaska while I was Governor," Sarah Palin said today. "Besides, as...

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Funny story: Mice experience satanic ritual abuse memories when scientists 'mess with their heads'

Mice experience satanic ritual abuse memories when scientists 'mess with their heads'

Cambridge, Massachusetts - Scientists have frightened the bejaysus out of millions of furry little critters by implanting inaccurate memories in their brains in experiments aiming to explain false-memory syndrome. Yeah, that's right. In scenes...

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Funny story: Baphomet

Baphomet

"To think I kissed her (or him) there--and there--and ''there''! - Sarah Michelle Gellar Although some contend that Baphomet is a Marvel Comics super-villain, Baphomet is really the demon of parties and partygoers west of the Mississippi. As such, he (or she) is often depicted at parties in Las Vegas, Hollyweird, and various family nudist camps in Arizona and New Mexico, and some Oregonians inc...

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Funny story: Savile's missing £20 million traced to satanic coven brats

Savile's missing £20 million traced to satanic coven brats

London - Police have found the dead perv's millions in a Swiss slush fund for brats of satanic hos. Their existence has been a government secret ever since the year dot according to sources at Operation Upper Gumtree. It means that Savile bough...

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Funny story: Teen sentenced to ten years in church chooses Church of Satan

Teen sentenced to ten years in church chooses Church of Satan

MUSKOGEE, Oklahoma (ABSNN) - When Oklahoma District Judge Mike Norman sentenced a teenaged youth who caused his friend's death in a car crash to church for ten years, he likely thought the boy would choose an evangelical church like the Nazarenes or...

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Funny story: Doomsday cult warns about Nigella's coq au vin

Doomsday cult warns about Nigella's coq au vin

London - A shadowy Illuminati offshoot has red carded domestic goddess Nigella Lawson's new spring chicken recipe. Barking Seventh Day Adventist Dentists' Allotment Society has banned her 'summer solstice spatchcock chicken nuggets in a red wine j...

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Funny story: Camilla top suspect in satanic horse slayings spate

Camilla top suspect in satanic horse slayings spate

Cornwall - Local scrimshaw foragers said today a decapitated horse's head on a Cornwall beach had three Prince of Wales albatross feathers stuck in its snout. It was found washed up on Pentegwam Bay just weeks after a mutilated pregnant mare's co...

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Funny story: Hellfire Club probed as Cornwall satanists suspected of horse mutilation

Hellfire Club probed as Cornwall satanists suspected of horse mutilation

Cornwall - Notorious satanic members of the UK's premier demonic closed shop are being investigated about the wanton mutilation of a Freisian two year-old called Erik. The stallion was found in dead in a Stithians field in what police suspect may...

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Funny story: Dawkins - Claims to know the mind of Jesus Christ

Dawkins - Claims to know the mind of Jesus Christ

Atheist loon and evolution crackpot Richard Dawkins now imagines that he knows how Jesus thinks. The troubled children's author continues to plummet further into the realms of fantasy. Only last week he displayed his ignorance of the Bible, when h...

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Funny story: Dawkins throws his toys out of the pram!

Dawkins throws his toys out of the pram!

Atheist fundamentalist and evolution crackpot Richard Dawkins has finally broken the silence as to why he refuses to debate Professor William Lane Craig. Dawkins claims that it is due to Lane Craigs biblical beliefs! As Lane Craig is a theologian...

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Funny story: Dawkins now has your children in his sights!

Dawkins now has your children in his sights!

Atheist fundamentalist and evolutionary crackpot Richard Dawkins has now got the your children in his sights! Having turned his tail and ran from a debate with Professor William Lane Craig, Dawkins has now decided to lower his sights and plans on...

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Funny story: Church of the Anarchist closes its doors for the last time

Church of the Anarchist closes its doors for the last time

The UK's first, last and only Church of the Anarchist, is closing its doors after being open for just one month. "We were meant to be the Church of the Antichrist," sighed founder, Bill Garcon. "The sign-writer couldn't read my handwriting though.

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Funny story: Obama Thanks Troops for Sacrafices

Obama Thanks Troops for Sacrafices

In his weekly radio address, Saturday, President Barracks Obama thanked the men and woman of the United States Armed Forces, or the Legion of Darkness, as he calls them, for their many sacrifices during his presidency: "I want you all to know that...

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