Former call-girl and world-class publicity-seeker 'Lady' Heather 'Mucca' Mills has shocked the London Divorce hearing today with claims that she is entitled to a significant share of the McCartney millions as it was HER - and not John Lennon - who helped Macca write the Beatles' biggest hits.
"One time", explained Mucca to the waiting media, "Paul couldn't find a pencil so I lent him mine and he immediately wrote 'Hey Jude'".
Seeking a Beatle-fortune for her significant contribution to popular culture while married to the former Wings-man, gold-digger Heather went on..."I was making him a lovely cup of tea while he wrote 'Let It Be' and indeed if it wasn't for me, one of his early hits would have been called "I Wanna Hold Your Leg".
When eager members of the press suggested that she was too young - or, in fact, not yet born - when these events happened, she explained "Paul has only got where he has today with MY help, if it wasn't for me he would still be playing the Cavern with Pete Best".
"My divorce settlement should reflect that", she announced to a stunned press corps, quickly adding "it's not about the money, let alone integrity, honesty or fairness...I still love him, honest.....".
Heather then simply hopped off and later launched into a rant on daytime TV where she promised to 'spill the vegetarian beans' on her romance with the legendary Scouser.
According to a survey today, the people of Britain hope her divorce settlement will be "the bus fare home".
The Divorce hearing continues.
