The Beatles Reunite with Some Surprise Names

Funny story written by bartlebysnopes

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

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Following a Grammy awards ceremony that heavily honored The Beatles, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr have worked out plans for a reunion tour and album.

The Beatles have not played together or released an original album since 1970. But after witnessing all of the hoopla at the Grammys, Ringo Starr felt that the timing was right to reunite.

"I was really moved by all of the tributes," Starr told reporters. "That's what made me realize how important we were. I want to feel that importance again. I feel like Paul and I have lots more inspirational music up our sleeves, and I'm not sure that we can do it alone."

Starr immediately contacted McCartney after the Grammy's, and McCartney immediately agreed to the reunion when he heard just how moved Ringo was.

"Ringo was crying on the phone, telling me how important we still were, and how much good we could do for the world," McCartney said. "Now I know that I can do a lot more alone than he can, but the two of us together may be able to do even more than I can do alone. We can change the world again."

Of course, The Fab Four couldn't do it with just a twosome, so Paul and Ringo put their heads together to come up with a few performers who could fill some awfully big shoes.

"The most important thing for us," Ringo said, "was to find two people who could make us feel like John, Paul, George, and Ringo again. We knew what we had to do. We needed a John and a George."

So the pair made a couple of phone calls, and within hours, they had their band.

R&B superstar John Legend will be taking the place of John Lennon, and former pop megastar George Michael will be taking over for George Harrison. Once again, John, Paul, George and Ringo will indeed be taking the stage.

"I'm really excited," Michael told reporters. "It's a great new opportunity for me. I have a lot of sex appeal, something that all of the original members of The Beatles had. I think it will help. I'll be bigger than I ever was before as a Beatle. We may even be bigger than The Beatles."

John Legend was not quite as bold with his predictions, but agreed that the reunion sounded like a wonderful idea. "Now that Led Zeppelin has reunited, it only makes sense for the greatest and most influential band to get back together. I am flattered that they chose me. I am lucky that my name is so close to John Lennon's. I think that helped more than anything. I'm thinking about legally changing my name for the tour."

The Beatles reunion tour will kick off in London, England on May 19th. From there, the band will play approximately 50 cities in a massive world tour. Tickets will be priced between $750 and $10,000.

When the band finishes the tour, they will begin recording a new album. The title has yet to be determined for the new album, but critics have already given it rave reviews.

"We haven't heard anything yet," Peter Travers of Rolling Stone said, "but we know it will be amazing. It may even be one of the ten best records of all time. We are adding it to our list as we speak."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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