Djibouti Chosen By UN As Top Country In Which To Live

Funny story written by tzdan

Thursday, 1 November 2007

image for Djibouti Chosen By UN As Top Country In Which To Live
A resident of Djibouti, clearly ecstatic with the announcement.

NEW YORK - Djibouti (pronounced ji-boo-tee), also known officially as the Republic of Djibouti, was chosen by the United Nations as the top country in which to live in 2007.

The result came as a shock to many, as Djibouti often received a very low ranking on the UN's Human Development Index, or HDI - a composite measure of factors such as life expectancy, standard of living, and education - which was previously used to determine the rankings.

When asked to justify this year's decision, UN spokesperson Robert Daly said the following: "This year we chose to abandon the HDI, with all its silly equations and statistics. Frankly, it's hard work determining the demographic data for a hundred or so different countries. We were tired of having to keep running to the library and checking-out atlases. So, this year we chose a much simpler method of decision making. From now on our ranking system will be based solely on how cool the name of each country sounds. Djibouti was clearly the coolest this year."

Skeptics of the Djibouti selection were immediately appeased after repeating the name of this year's top selection.

"Djibouti! Wow that is awesome," said Gary Bettner, a sociologist at the University of Maine. "I'm very pleased that the UN has finally abandoned arbitrary decision-making and returned to reaching informed, conscious conclusions."

The UN representative to Djibouti, who will be referred to as Bob, as his name it too hard to spell, was ecstatic. "This truly is a great day for all of Djibouti. I am truly pleased that our country has been selected by the UN as the best country in which to reside. Sure, our government is a puppet-democracy, we are struggling to end a decades old civil war, and we are facing rampant unemployment, but hey, we all agree, Djibouti is damn wicked to say."

'Djibouti' has quickly caught on as a new ubiquitous buzz word, with many teens and young adults being heard exclaiming 'that's so djibouti, yo!' or 'I totally want to tap some fine djibouti!'

Thanks to the internet, the new vogue word should spread to even the furthest reaches of the globe, and will soon replace old stand-bys such as 'radical' and 'tubular'.

Unfortunately for the People's Republic of Blmleh, the new selection criteria resulted in it receiving the lowest ranking this year, as its name is so un-djibouti to say that even its own residents are refusing to acknowledge its existence.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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