The price of oil hit $1,000 a barrel today for the first time in history, causing every nation's economy to stop dead in it's tracks as all the money in the world was suddenly sucked up by Saudi Arabia and other middle eastern oil producers.
Conspiracists lay the blame squarely on George Bush. A spokesperson for the group, Conspiracies-R-Us, stated, "George W. Bush is behind everything bad that happens in the world. He and his Saudi buddies manipulated the price of oil, caused 9/11, caused global warming, and stole the presidency from Al Gore. These are not just crazy theories, they are crazy facts, which are contained in our best selling book, "Conspiracy For Dummies".
As a result of $1,000 a barrel oil, gas prices in the U.S. jumped to $20 a gallon. According to liberals and environmentalists, filling up the tank of a gas guzzling, environmentally unfriendly SUV will now cost $500, money which could be better used to do other things, such as giving it to the poor, planting a windmill in your backyard, or recycling toilet paper.
Many important items in our lives are made from oil, including plastic, which is used to make critical everyday items such as fast food wrappers, potato chip bags, crayons, shampoo, condoms and sex toys.
As a result of $1,000 a barrel oil, economists predict that the price of every product on earth will double in the next 30 minutes.
copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence