Faux News, just reported that Pat Robertson has just endorses Beelzebub to be the next President of the United States. Mr Robertson said, "After long prayer with God, he advised me that this was his choice also. I asked the Almighty how I should tell all my viewers on the "700 Club" of our choice. God told me never to use the names Devil, Lucifer, Satan or The Prince of Darkness as many of them might be offended and recognize just who this "fallen angel" was.
God reportedly said that, "Beelzebub is a better name to use since most of them can't read at all, let alone recognize all of his names and since this name is used primarily in my Bible, they will never be the wiser." "Thanks, Lord I'll do just as you wish, and please tell Jesus that he will be proud of me," said Mr Robertson.
Then with a loud clap of thunder and flashes of lightening God roared, "YOU BETTER HOPE HE WINS THE REPUBLICAN NOMINATION, because if he doesn't you will have to back Hillary Clinton for President if that idiot Ron Paul gets the nomination.