Astrologers have found a new planet 4 TRILLION light years away from Earth called MILTON, and it theoretically could support breastfeeding. If the new planet has smooth milky surfaces and teat-shaped rocks, then it would be the perfect environment for breastfeeding.
Babies raised on MILTON could find their IQs boosted by a whopping seven hundred points. However, this will only occur in babies who haven't inherited a particular gene called DENSE TWAT. Unfortunately nine out of 10 children have this gene. For the nine per cent who do, breast feeding will not help them one jot. They are thick.
Bottle feeding, on the other hand, is best for them. The discovery increases the number of planets found from four to five. Astrologers have found more planets than anyone else. The new planet is made up of hot air around 45 times the hot air found on Earth. Theoretically, it too could support intelligent life.
Have you discovered a planet? If so, send us your photograph.
Where does the latest planet leave the debate on breast-feeding?