Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 3 July 2007

image for Car Bombings Are Linked To NHS Waiting Lists
Dr Bin Laden

Police investigating the three failed car bombings in London and Glasgow, say they are a direct result of NHS waiting lists and other health service problems, and that many, many doctors are involved.

The latest suspect to be arrested, Dr Mohammed Haneef, who had recently worked in Cheshire, claimed that the length of time someone has to wait for an operation on an ingrowing toenail was far too long.

Haneef, arrested in Brisbane, Australia, estimated that this should be no longer than six weeks, but, in some cases, it was eight. This, he said, was "unacceptable".

Marwa Dana Asha, 27, a woman lab technician, was arrested on the M6 after complaining that the state of some NHS toilets was "absolutely disgusting". Her husband, Mohammed Asha, claimed that hospital food "wasn't nearly as nutritional as it should be". He told his arresters that "someone should drive a burning jeep into an airport building".

Police say that they have reason to believe many more dissatisfied doctors could be about to vent their spleens on public transport and buildings, and have asked the general public to remain vigilant.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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