A spokesperson from FoxNews announced today that the "fair and balanced" cable news monolith has decided to fire conservative activist Sean Hannity from its popular show Hannity and Colmes. The decision came after Hannity refused to shave his unibrow.
"I am tired of trying to be something I am clearly not", Hannity said during a press conference this afternoon. "I am a victim of discrimination because they want to make me shave my unibrow. This is just not fair and I'm not going to stand for it."
Despite the fact that there is, thus far, no definitive word on who will replace Hannity, rumors have already begun to circulate that Scooter Libby, former assistant to Vice President Dick Cheney has been approached.