Hong Kong Has Gone Wrong So No Throngs …of Tourists

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Wednesday, 15 February 2023

image for Hong Kong Has Gone Wrong So No Throngs …of Tourists
Travel Tip #1: Do NOT go to Hong Kong

No one wants to visit Hong Kong. The tourism industry is hurting so bad they’re giving free plane tickets to anyone who wants to come.

Why won’t the world visit Chinese territory? Don’t they want to see the wonders of China – the fast trains, the beautiful buildings made by slave labor – it’s easy to get results when construction workers have guns to their heads – maybe head on over to Egypt and see the product of slave labour, they’re called the pyramids, wouldn’t you want to spend your weekend “volunteering” to drag heavy blocks up ramps, one after another, to finish building the pharaoh’s tomb long after he’s dead – as in, maybe a hundred years after the bastards has turned to jelly?

Oh right, he was wrapped into a mummy so he wouldn’t stink so much by the time the last block was put in place.

Will Hong Kong, if not all of China, turn into a mummy, with no one visiting? Enforced isolation, since the Chinese like to make viruses, see, so no one wants to die. Do the Chinese not understand this? And, of course, there’s the small problem of them being a fascist state. Whisper to a Chinese person, “I think President Xi sucks donkey dick, whaddaya think?” and then you’re never seen nor heard from again for years, maybe never, or maybe only after you can’t stand under your own power and the commies have to roll you out on an ox cart.

So why not go to Hong Kong? What’s there? Pretty lights? I got those coming outa my ass! (Note to self: make doctor’s appointment, ASAP.) And while you’re staring at the lights, the commie cop behind you is watching, putting a tiny GPS bug on you to follow your every movement, and listening to your every word in your hotel, and telling you what to buy and if you don’t, you’ll be declared a foreign devil and then … it always ends in a prison cell with those Chinese assholes.

Instead go to Australia and protest … but, alas, the Chinese enforcers are there too, ready to break up the protest … the fuckers reproduce like rabbits when there’s nothing to live for under a despotic rule, so they’re probably in your country right now, with their Chinese police stations, listening, watching, waiting to take you home … to Hong Kong.

Stay home and live, or go abroad and die. Hong Kong should be sinking into the sea in 100 years. Hopefully the CCP will be dead like a gelatinous pharaoh by then.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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