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Funny story: Isle of Wight News: Island Tourism Ravaged by Fake Nelson Scourge

Isle of Wight News: Island Tourism Ravaged by Fake Nelson Scourge

The winter nights may be drawing in, but usually, on the Isle of Wight, it's still all systems go at this time of year, writes Tourism, Graeco-Roman Wrestling, Permaculture, Snuff, Pest Control, Differential Topology and Gynaecology correspondent, No...

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Funny story: The Balham Tourist Board Guide for Japanese Visitors

The Balham Tourist Board Guide for Japanese Visitors

Shopping. Balham is a Mecca for discerning shoppers from as far away as Tooting, and until the 1980s, even boasted its own "private shop", handily situated within two minutes' walk of the local secondary school. Unfortunately, concerned citizens, or "busybodies", as any self-respecting connoisseur of BDSM, unusual practices, and loose morals would call them, successfully campaigned to close it dow...

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Funny story: Saudi Arabian Tourist Board Invites Hen Parties

Saudi Arabian Tourist Board Invites Hen Parties

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman wants a new, open Saudi Arabia with concerts, cinemas and beaches and a 2030 vision or so he says. It is with this view that the Saudi Arabian Tourist Board is encouraging western brides-to-be to visit the de...

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Funny story: Brit Olympic bath towel hurlers conquer almighty German tourists in Gran Canaria!

Brit Olympic bath towel hurlers conquer almighty German tourists in Gran Canaria!

The annual Olympic bath towel hurling event across Europe during the holiday period has culminated in a grand final on Gran Canaria and, surprise, surprise, Brits beat the Germans in a bath-towel penalty shoot-out early on Sunday morning! How they...

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Funny story: Zika Tourism Boosts Latin American Economies

Zika Tourism Boosts Latin American Economies

Tourism is booming in Latin American countries with a high risk for the mosquito-born Zika virus. An influx of tourists was noticed right after the US presidential election: Apparently, Americans needing to feel better about the US have flocked to...

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Funny story: Transylvania Tourism Booms Since Melania Trump Was Recalled

Transylvania Tourism Booms Since Melania Trump Was Recalled

Since news broke that First Lady Melania Trump was reanimated from the dead in Transylvania, thousands of people have flocked to the area to sight see and to take a tour of Cryotech Re-animators, Melania Trump's birthplace. Most affected is the to...

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Funny story: Williamsport Tells the World to… F*%$ Off!

Williamsport Tells the World to… F*%$ Off!

The small city of Williamsport, Pa first became a borough March 1, 1806. Late in the 19th Century Williamsport was known as "The Lumber Capital of the World" and once housed more millionaires per capita than anywhere else on the globe. Now those...

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Funny story: Oktoberfest in Canada

Oktoberfest in Canada

Those motorists who've ever decided to save a few miles and dodge a few highway tolls on the drive between Buffalo NY and Chicago by passing through that large game sanctuary known as "Canada" may have wondered: "What is there to do here besides hunt moose, photograph Mounties, and guzzle buckets of Tim Horny's coffee?" Well, anyone who braves this passage in early October --just before the ent...

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Funny story: UK Visa Advice for American Tourists

UK Visa Advice for American Tourists

Before embarking upon a UK holiday, here are a few things you should know about the Brits and their language differences. This knowledge may save you considerable embarrassment if you learn it well. MONEY: The Brits have peculiar words for many things. Money is referred to as "goolies" in slang, so you should for instance say, "I'd love to come to the pub but I aven't got any goolies." "Quid...

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Funny story: "Health tourism" visitors say it's the best holiday they've ever had

"Health tourism" visitors say it's the best holiday they've ever had

Health tourism is currently one of the UK's fastest growing industries, as Europeans flock to our country to take advantage of our overstretched national health service. Though some politicians claim that it's a bad thing, health tourists themselves...

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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - "The Needles" - Did Greeks Buy Them For $26 million For Elgin Marbles Exchange

Isle Of Wight News - "The Needles" - Did Greeks Buy Them For $26 million For Elgin Marbles Exchange

The Greek government is refusing to comment on reports that it has bought "The Needles", a major tourist attraction with its own Chili Dog stall and cable car system. The attraction, stolen last week from the Isle of Wight, turned up at a famous...

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Funny story: Grimethorpe most popular tourist town in 2014

Grimethorpe most popular tourist town in 2014

Grimethorpe has once again scooped the top spot as the most popular tourist destination in the world. Some 155 people visited Yorkshire's secret gem in 2013, with the coal by-products factory, the library, newsagents and Pentecostal church maintai...

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Funny story: Russian man who was given suspended prison sentence for vandalising Colosseum denies he was ever in Rome

Russian man who was given suspended prison sentence for vandalising Colosseum denies he was ever in Rome

A Russian tourist visiting the city of Rome was given a suspended jail sentence yesterday by an Italian court for committing an act of vandalism. The resident of Moscow scrawled the words "This belongs to Mother Russia" on the ancient Colosseum. T...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Island Too Long. E.U. To Shorten It By 3.45 Km.

Isle of Wight News - Island Too Long. E.U. To Shorten It By 3.45 Km.

The Isle of Wight has fallen foul of E.U. regulations by being above the mandatory 65 mile maximum length for a British Isle. The Isle, famous for its Rock Festivals and sequence dancing has steadfastly refused to lop 2 miles from its length, even th...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight Latest - New Airport Terminal Name Is Leaked

Isle of Wight Latest - New Airport Terminal Name Is Leaked

The new flagship £5000 Isle of Wight Bembridge airport terminal is to be named T.8 in an official ceremony tomorrow according to leaked documents. The product of ten years of planning, expensive ground breaking engineering achievements and dogged det...

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Funny story: Central Reservations On M25 To Become Picnic Areas

Central Reservations On M25 To Become Picnic Areas

A plan to boost picnic areas was unveiled today by the British Government's Tourist Development Authority. Widened areas of busy central reservations are to have picnic benches and litter bins to cater for the growing number of impromptu roadside pic...

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Funny story: Liverpool Tourist Office To Sell Fake "Car Wheels Missing" Wheel Covers To Fool Thieves

Liverpool Tourist Office To Sell Fake "Car Wheels Missing" Wheel Covers To Fool Thieves

Realistic cardboard images of a wheel on bricks are being sold as wheel covers at Liverpool Tourist Centres from today. The officer for tourism, Mrs. Morris-Minor told our Inner City Travel Correspondent, "Every time someone parks up for a few minute...

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