PORTSMOUTH, England - (Satire News) - England's Bee's Knees News Agency reports that a huge volcano has just formed in the English Channel, off the coastal town of Portsmouth, England.
One of England's most respected meteorologist Abner "The Bloke" Finkfog. who is married to one of Cheryl Cole's cousins, discovered the Category 8 volcano when he was yachting with Chezza.
Volcano experts say that this volcano which is of the Mount St. Helen's class of volcanoes is getting ready to erupt and toss billions of gallons of the dreaded lava all over Eastern England.
Meanwhile King Charles III, is reportedly planning a 78th birthday party for ballroom professional Len Goodman, which will take place in the Buckingham Palace courtyard.