WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre has informed the US news media that Mexico is reporting that their destroyer, The Pancho Villa, has attacked and sunk one of Russia's largest battleships, The Siberian Blizzard.
The Russian warship was reportedly the pride of President Putin's mighty navy.
The Siberian Blizzard was struck by four El Matador Numero Uno Torpedoes, which are the most powerful torpedos known to man.
The Russian battleship sent out an SOS and her entire crew of 1,839 officers and sailors were rescued by a Ukrainian aircraft carrier which took the Russian sailors into custody.
The Russian crew will be incarcerated at Umea, Sweden's Tic Tac Military Prison.
Meanwhile, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has praised the crew of The Pancho Villa and he will be bestowing them with his country's highest naval medal, The Nobel Order of The Ukrainian Hawk.
