Evangelical Conspiracy Magazine - (one of the main supporters of Trump) - has made an amazing discovery in Turkey.
On top of Mount Aptal - in a deserted part of Turkey - Evangelic Faithful found pieces of Noah's Ark - said Brother Bleeding Heart Aloysius.
It looked like an incredibly ancient Bagel - about 400 feet around - with fitted wood planks.
A tiny hint in one of Paul's Letters lead to where it was - (and paying off a lot of Turkish officials).
It was ice covered and the port - holes gave it a Raisin - studded look.
Surrounding it was huge piles of ancient, fossilized Manure. Apparently-after 40 days- they had to shovel Shit to get out of the Ark.
It is now just a huge broken shell of Fragile rotted wood - sitting in manure.
Its Christian duty done.
The great news is that the Jews were Wrong - saying it was Boat - shaped.
As all good Christians should want the Jews to be wrong about everything.
And us Evangelicals always Right about everything.
Even though everybody aboard was Jewish - we now Know where Christianity started - on a hill in Turkey - and in a Bagel - shaped Ark.
