Kimmy Jong Shoots the Missile of Loneliness

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Wednesday, 5 October 2022

image for Kimmy Jong Shoots the Missile of Loneliness
Like his daddy, Kimmy's So Ronery ...

Kim Jong-Un sent a missile over Japan … why?

A spokesperson for fascists has stated, “He’s lonely. He gets the news, the social media, even though he won’t allow the same for his people. So Kimmy – don’t tell him I called him that – sees Putin and Ukraine and all the shit going in the States and Britain, and he cries – he actually weeps, but says it is god’s tears flowing through him. Weird, right? That’s a crazy dictator for ya.”

What can the world expect in the future?

“More of the same,” said the Source. “If a narcissist is ignored, they do drastic things. Look at Brittany Spears. Or Amber Heard – did she really take a shit on Johnny’s bed? Okay, sorry, back to Kimmy. He’ll shoot missile after missile until someone calls him just to say hello. No one writes, no one calls, no one has visited since Trump and various American basketball players. He loved hanging, ‘chillin’, with them. Now … no one will even write a fake Spoof article about that lonely old dick. Just like his daddy.”

As I wipe away a tear, this one’s for you, Kimmy. Now free your people and try to get with this century, then maybe people will like you more. (Why does talking to a dick always feel like talking to a five-year-old whose ice cream landed on the sidewalk after the first lick?)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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