The White House has just uncovered a plot to overpower our great nation. It is the Indians. No, not the red ones, but the brown ones. As a consequence, the national threat level has been raised to Brown.
While the country remains polarized by the racial violence between the White and the Black factions, the Browns have been caught planning a stealth attack.
The FBI has identified a terrorist organization, Brown Uprising for Racial Purity (BURP), behind the plot. They were nabbed at a cola factory in Atlanta.
According to documents uncovered, it appears that the sinister plot was hatched more than 600 years ago. A group of Brown Indians pranked Christopher Columbus into believing that the natives he found in America were Indians. In India, they continue to celebrate this event every year with firecrackers and lamps.
Commenting on the terrifying discovery, a highly-placed source in the NSA who wishes to remain anonymous, said, “Through their illegal habit of Hindu Rebirth, that original group of browns has continued to outmanoeuvre races of all other colors systematically. These *&%$# Indians get reborn and just pick up from where they had left off.”
While we were dumping tea in the Boston harbour, the Indians brought ganja(cannabis) to America via Jamaica. In the freshly declassified papers, it has been established that Bob Marley was an Indian asset. The song ‘Buffalo soldier’ was a direct reference to the style of guerilla warfare preferred by the Indians.
Records indicate that once the Indians arrived in America, they dispersed better than our Witness Protection program. They covertly set up 7-11s, motels and gas stations as part of their deep cover strategy.
They have spent centuries meticulously studying white customs and black resistance. While they publicly win Spelling Bee contests, on the sly, they have been accumulating PhDs in Quantum Physics and Computer Engineering. Many of them are now working undercover as CEOs of top tech companies on NASDAQ.
Subversive pamphlets found at the locations of these terrorist organizations carry slogans like “The future is Brown” and “In 100 years, there’ll be a little bit of Indian in everyone.”
When contacted, both Charlie Brown and Le Brown James refused to comment on this story.