Proposed law will require ugly people to wear masks

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Tuesday, 27 July 2021

image for Proposed law will require ugly people to wear masks
With apologies to our readers, Williamson poses without his mask

The latest bill being worked through US halls of congress includes a little known stipulation that will requires ugly people to cover up at all times when outside of their homes.

Representative Jonathan Barnes, (R) OH says he's "very optimistic" about the bill passing. "I figure since everyone has been through the ringer the past couple of years, and since everyone has a mask laying around why not make ugly people wear their masks and give the rest of us a break!"

Woke leader and widely known ugly person William "Wokeman" Williamson says he's working nonstop these days in an effort to stop the bill from getting through congress. "People aren't going to stand for this in this day and age! I am imploring everyone to call their reps and let them know this is a disgraceful outrage!" Williamson screamed, with several veins in his head protruding. Williamson then refused to put on his mask for a photo. Crackling a smile at the photographer he cracked "My mama says I'm handsome!"

Asked about such opposition to the bill, Barnes elaborated "Don't get me wrong, I stand by all ugly people and fully believe in their rights being the same as everyone else. Just as long as they are wearing their masks when in my line of sight, I have absolutely no problem with them being there."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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