The latest bill being worked through US halls of congress includes a little known stipulation that will requires ugly people to cover up at all times when outside of their homes. Representative Jonathan Barnes, (R) OH says he's "very optimistic"…
Congress is finally getting down to business and taking on some of the critical issues citizens face in their daily lives. The latest piece of legislation passed just this afternoon is aimed at stopping the constant droning of silly people who feel i…
WORLD- Following the explosive revelations about movie mogul Harvey Weinstein's years of predatory sexual behavior, the virality of assault victim hashtag #Metoo, and the growing number of other men being outed as sexual predators, the World has deci...
With the peak of the summer season, the heat and humidity have locals concerned about the effect that local thunder-thighs have on the well-being of their neighborhood. As shorts get shorter, and tops become more cropped, it leaves much more room fo...
Washington, DC - - With the Department of Homeland Security increasingly being used as a political football, Congress has come up with a backup plan. It's a domestic defensive strategy that relies on the American public to protect itself agai...
Almost New York - The judge in the Eric Gardner police brutality case put a lid on the release of evidence and souvenir transcripts used by the grand jury to reach its mystifying decision. Good thing we had our judicial fly on the wall to listen in on juror comments. Here are some of their choice remarks: "I'm glad I live on an island." "If he wanted to breathe, he should've brought alon...
A Montana town has taken a novel approach to curbing street prostitution, with great success. At a press conference yesterday, Lambton mayor Ramsey Mouton explained: "We used to be a quiet farming town. The biggest factory here was the woollen m...
Whitecracker, MS (Reuters) - A Caucasian judge in rural Mississippi, who is also a volunteer pee-wee baseball league umpire, has been accused of over-stepping his judicial bounds by sentencing Black and Hispanic pee-weers who have have gone down swi...
'Spicy Meatballs' is a term used by Italian Chefs who put Meth Amphetamine in their food. DEA officials believe. "We believe we have found an Italian Chef who might be cooking meatballs and meth," said a DEA official. The accused Italian stat...
The Government has today announced plans aimed at reducing the number of road accidents involving cyclists. 'Successive governments have been worried about the safety of cyclists in Britain for very many years,' admitted Secretary of State for Tra...
New York City -- Lame duck Mayor Michael Bloomberg is working to install neighborhood watch favorite George Zimmerman as the city's next Police Commissioner. "Think of this as my going away present to the city," said Bloomberg, who will be out o...
Public cursing or swearing on the street, in bars or any location outside of the home has been banned in the small town of Middleborough, Mass. It is now illegal to use the F-Word and transgressors could face fines up to $2000 or/and 30 days in th...
Wanted: Gun-toting lawman to clean up Irish goldrush town! That's the message from Donegal community leaders as scenes from the old West have developed on the pilgrimage island of Lough Derg. Ever since a Canadian company won the right to searc...
ROME - Claiming that "presumptuous and thuggish impositions of will have disrupted the peace of our lives," a consortium of Catholic leaders around the world has formed in vehement protest of "traumatizing and intrusive" police investigations into re...
VENICE, CALIF. -- The police chief of this small beachside suburb yesterday contracted with an international fish monger to lease three, drug-sniffing great white sharks. "I'm going to turn'em loose in our famous Venice canals," said Chief Ratchet. "...
BRUSSELS - Hate Brussels sprouts? You'll really hate Brussels punishment for lack of budgetary discipline. That's right. According to our mole, a janitor at the conference, leaders of the European Central Bank have come up with the ultimate punishment for governments that do not pay back their loans. Germany was pushing for firing squad. The French were pushing the guilloti...
After a series of shock accidents parliament is to impose a blanket ban on applause across England and Wales. Applause will still be allowed in Scotland whilst ministers there debate the health and safety of this dangerous activity. "Hospital A&am...
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