Wan-Kin-Dik, Jaggedone's 95-year-old personal rickshaw puller is reincarnated

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 29 June 2021

image for Wan-Kin-Dik, Jaggedone's 95-year-old personal rickshaw puller is reincarnated
No more Wan-Kin-Dik's (RIP), but JO has found a new 'puller' to carry his burden!

After 25 years of personally pulling Sir Jaggedone around in his rickety rickshaw, the sad news came as the lazy tosser, alias JO, was busy picking his nose and scratching his rear-end in a downtown bar in Beijing surrounded by 85-year-old nympho-Volga-Olgas, imported from Kazakhstan, that his 95-year-old personal rickshaw puller had 'popped his clogs!'

With tears streaming down his plump red cheeks after being 'blown away' by yet another Volga from the Olga, he rushed out into China Town (it could never have been a Little Italy in Beijing) and yelled, "my beloved Wan-Kin-Dik is dead!"

Chinese passers-by patted JO on the back and told him not to worry as old Wan-Kin-Dik was a devout Buddhist and would be reincarnated soon!

JO went back into the sleazy saloon, ordered 5 pints of sake, imported from Hong Kong, and let the Volga Olga's blow his mind once again.

A few days later, still pissed out of his brain, JO still managed to put an advert in the local Beijing Times,

"85-year-old rickshaw puller required to pull a fat butthole around the murky backstreets of Beijing, low paid, willing to do shift work, run his butt off, bring his master to the best opium dens in town, and if successful the candidate will also get blown away by a selected Volga Olga imported from Siberia for free!"

The advert was a resounding success, but many retired rickshaw pullers were just too young, demanded too many US $ Bucks and, were not interested in ageing Volga Olga's!

However, one rickshaw puller fulfilled the necessary criteria, his name, Bum-Kum-Tum, a transgender 85-year-old ex-Chinese-shot-putter who crossed-over after being pumped with hormones, and still wearing his/her gold medal won in Moscow where anything once went without rainbows.

Bum-Kum-Tum kissed Jaggedone's hand after receiving the prestigious position and whispered in his filthy-waxed ear, "JO, it's me, your dead Wan-Kin-Dik, I have been reincarnated as this transgender, ex-lesbian, shot-putter! The Dalai Lama had pity on me and sent me back to serve your every purpose!"

Jaggedone nearly fainted, then he gave Bum-Kum-Tum a huge hug to welcome him/her back to the living dead. Showing immense gratitude to the Dalai Lama, he offered Wan-Kin-Dik, alias Bum-Kum-Tum, Volga Olga, whose red-silicone-filled-lips resembled Mae West's in her glory days, but she still blew him/her away!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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