Written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 4 October 2018

image for Hurricane Leslie threatens the UK even more than BOJO!
Can they escape the force of Hurricane Leslie? Ask Jaggedone, he knows the answer!

Yes, dear punters, The Nutters Beach Club, closed recently due to a delayed shipment of suggestive fruit (mostly bananas) has re-opened only to be boarded up gain in the face of oncoming weather.

Hurricane Leslie (A close relation to the writer of this utter bullshit) is rapidly approaching the UK and will take no prisoners as it sweeps Brexiteers into the Channel where they will either swim or drown (hopefully the latter).

We last heard BOJO was paddling furiously to a Normandy beach hoping the French would excuse his deranged past and place him in an illegal immigrants camp called, Le Jungle.

Romanians and Bulgarians desperate to enter the UK are waiting with sharpened knives hoping to slit the bastard's throat!

Farage, was also seen scuppering his local boozer before Hurricane Leslie hits home. He was captured on the Siberian Express heading for Putin country where a foul dose of Novichok will be shoved down his miserable throat if he doesn't agree to give it to Angie Merkel first!

Anyway, after all the gloom and doom, 85 year-old nymphomaniac Volga Olga is safe and well, filming her latest blockbuster “Lethal Pussy 69” in Hollywood whilst giving Tarantino a blow job every hour - Clinton style!

My Chinese chief chef, WAN-KIN-DIK, is also safe and back in China stirring bowls of piping hot Beijing pot noodles, OUCH!

Only main Nutter and owner, ex-pat Leslie Johnson, alias Jaggedone, is left to board up the windows.

Normal service will resume if you all are prepared to wear tin helmets, fight on the beaches, fight in the air, and slaughter the Huns to get to our fabulous Nutters Beach Club in time before Hurricane Leslie finishes what BOJO and Co started!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Hurricane, Jaggedone




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