German police investigate mysterious death of barking-mad-dog!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 22 March 2021

image for German police investigate mysterious death of barking-mad-dog!
RIP Wilhelm the Barking Dog, your legacy will never be forgotten, WOOF, WOOF!

(NOT EDITED) Eifel, Germany: Local German coppers raced to the scene of a tragic death in the early hours of Monday morning as local inhabitants of a tiny hamlet awoke to the sound of silence! Simon and Garfunkel, you must have been Disturbed to let them cover that one.

Anyway, under normal circumstances, on a daily basis, the ageing farm dog makes sure he is not the only one awake because he loves waking everybody up in a radius of 2 kilometres. His barking always echoes around the hills and everybody knows, whoops it's milking time on the farm!

However, on this March cold morning there was only silence to be heard! Several locals said to themselves, "thank the fuck for that!"

Others, especially an 87-year-old granny, who rose not to the sound of a cock crowing, but always listened out for the dog incessantly barking thought, "I must ring the 'Old Bill' old Wilhelm the ageing farm dog aint barking!"

Local police, with nothing better to do, rushed to the scene with blue lights flashing and sirens blasting waking up those who didn't give a fuck anyway! On arriving they found poor old farmer Jakob standing over his dead dog swearing revenge on the bastard that poisoned it!

He needed a sedative to calm him down! A vet arrived and took poor old Wilhelm to the surgery to find out what caused the dog to tip over! The farmer swore it was the noisy neighbour who works nights at the local milk factory.

Later in the day, after a doggy autopsy, the vet found the cause of death; it had a heart-attack caused through years and years of pissing people off by constantly barking every time something dared move on the farm!

The farmer wrote an official apology to his noisy neighbour, and Wilhelm the Canine Barker will now be buried alongside the farmer's granny on Good Friday.

Hamlet locals are now complaining to the mayor because after so many years of being 'barked' out of bed at 06.00, they cannot enjoy the peace and quiet and wake up anyway! Woof, woof!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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