A man who was being conveyed by motorcycle to his place of employment by his nasty, brainless, not to mention lazy step-daughter this morning, has said the youngster drove the vehicle so erratically and carelessly, that, several times, he feared for his underpants.
Moys Kenwood, 57, had to endure the tortuous ride to work because his wife wasn't feeling up to things this morning, and instructed her 17-year-old daughter, Yasmi, to 'do the honors'.
But this clearly didn't sit well with the girl, who finds it difficult to rise in the morning.
Or the afternoon, for that matter.
Setting out like a bullet out of a gun, she rode through every pothole she could possibly manage, annoyed beyond belief that she'd had to put her smartphone down temporarily.
"I'd started to think that phone was part of her left hand!"
The pair hurtled along at breakneck speed, weaving in and out of other traffic, swinging madly from one side of the road to the other, and causing other vehicle owners to tut.
Several times, they flirted with death.
At one point, Kenwood closed his eyes tightly, and tried to think of 'something else'.
"I thought we were going to have a 'bum cigar' incident!" he confessed.
Once he had arrived at work, the Englishman was noticeably relieved, but still had to visit the toilet in a hurry to empty his bowels.