Man Admits To Using Strong Language

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 30 January 2021

image for Man Admits To Using Strong Language
An outlet for filth earlier

The same man who said earlier that he was suffering from stress, boredom, depression, frustration, isolation, gross mental strain and a mild psychopathic nature has now admitted that, from time to time, his language can be extremely colorful.

And, sometimes, he even uses words that can turn the air blue.

Moys Kenwood, 57, a 'teacher' of sorts, had to endure a lengthy 7-month period of Coronavirus lockdown - without income - in a strange country, and now says that, during and since that period, he became easily infuriated with the most innocuous of situations, and that his temper often got the better of him.

At those times, he would explode with rage.

He said:

"Yes, that's right. I would be doing something, and something else would happen to disturb me, and I'd fire off a volley of verbal filth."

Those around Kenwood said his language could regularly be "quite colorful", and a bit "fruity".

Kenwood confirmed this. He said:

"Yes, I suppose it was! Especially when those fucking bells started chiming at the nearby temple at 5 o'fucking clock in the morning! On and on and on and fucking on. Yes, that really got my fucking goat, that did! Cunts!"

He was philosophical about using such filthy language. He said:

"I think it was due to all the intense pressure I was under at the time. I was using those rude words to express my anger and frustration with the situation I was in. I call it my 'Expressionist period'!"

Now that he's back at work, however, and some sort of normality has returned to his life, the habit has disappeared. He said:

"I'm over the fucking worst of it. I hardly ever fucking swear now."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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