(NOT EDITED) A German court in Solingen has found Herr Fritz Fritsche guilty on more counts of locking down his family in two pandemic waves, one from March till June and the other from September till December!
Fritz Fritsche, a local Waste Technician, Dustbin Man, in normal English, took the German Government's lockdown legislation slightly too far in his own house! As soon as Angie Merkel told Germans to lockdown in March, Fritz took his four nippers into their bedroom, handcuffed them to their beds and ordered them to study until he got back from work, which they did.
He then handcuffed his missus to her stove, ordered Roast Beef, Red Cabbage and five dumplings, with gravy, for dinner. She nodded, "Jawohl" and went about her chores in the kitchen, with limitations. Albeit, her handcuffs had a rubbery extension, so she could reach the fridge and go to the loo, the kids had potties!
When Fritz came home, he unlocked the kids, and missus, eat his dinner, then took the handcuffs to bed, dressed in his smelly overalls, kinky chappie! His missus enjoyed it too. This situation lasted until summer. After summer holidays, a new lockdown was ordered by Angie, so Fritz obeyed her, and did the same to his family again, until December.
Luckily, a friendly neighbour, hoping to borrow some salt, saw Fritz’s missus chained to her oven. She called the 'Old Bill', they rushed to the scene and unlocked the family. They were not really happy, in fact, they all quite enjoyed being locked-down at home because the kids hated school and his missus hates wearing a mask in Lidl!
Fritz was arrested as he came home, then sentenced to 5 years in the slammer. He told waiting Bild Zeitung reporters outside the court, "Well I was only doing my duty, obeying Angie, and the missus loved being handcuffed too, especially in bed!"
Their lawyer is appealing against the sentence. Angie Merkel has offered her sympathies to Fritz and his family for not quite explaining what her form of lockdown' meant! Millions of Germans do not understand what she meant either!
