(NOT EDITED) Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporters have been scurrying into smudgy places only they can reach, and have come up with today's news headlines:
DEAD OR ALIVE?
Trump, has ordered a Funeral Parlor to drag his dead-body out of the White House because he refuses to leave it alive, or over his huge dead body!
The UK and EU have decided to arrange a duel at ten paces to decide who the fuck wins! The winner decides which bullshit goes into the Trading Agreement they have failed to agree on since four years of negotiations!
Vaccines are being concocted all over the planet, a wonderful thing. However, typical human behavior means the whole thing has turned into a rat-race about who is the best, and who will save the world first from this terrible pandemic!
Trump and Johnson are blowing their TRUMPETS the loudest, who else!! Merkel, Macron, and other, reasonably sensible leaders, are going about their business as usual, but in a diplomatic, non-competitive manner, which helps people more than the moron still in the White House claiming he is Jesus and, will heal the world!! Please, someone, drag the raving imbecile away!!
TO COUNT OR NOT TO COUNT?
That is the question, or is it? The US have ordered ten thousand Abacus to count the votes that Trump claims were binned down the drain. The Abacus will also be used to count all votes in States where Trump's bunch of legal crackheads believe were corrupt. It will take four years, and by then, the electoral process can start again, costing billions and billions! KING DONALD will still be sitting on his golden throne because the US justice system can twist and turn US laws any way they want, and Humpty, Dumpty, knows that!!
HIRED ASSASSIN RENTED TO END USA MISERY!
Biden and his team have used to only thing left to remove HIM out of their house; an ISIS terrorist sharp-shooter!
So, there you have it dear readers, if there are any (?). Thank Jaggedone's CIA reporters for divulging the TRUTH behind THE TRUTH!
See you all tomorrow, if I'm still alive, Zuckerberg is everywhere!