Man Says His Back Garden Looks Like Glastonbury

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 8 August 2020

image for Man Says His Back Garden Looks Like Glastonbury
Several helpers attempting to clean up the garden

After a wild afternoon and evening of incessant torrential rain yesterday, there was a horrible surprise in store for one man when he woke up this morning and looked out of his window to find that his back garden looked a little bit like Glastonbury.

Moys Kenwood, 57, sat peering for hours at the bucketfuls of rain falling every second into the quagmire that was his garden. Some things, such as plastic chairs, children's toys, and empty plant pots, started to move, and to float towards one side of the garden, as they drifted with the tide.

This morning, however, produced a horrific scene.

Thick mud was clotted with debris which had become stuck in it as the water had soaked into the sodden earth overnight, leaving a spectacle reminiscent of the end of the aforementioned music festival weekend.

Large pools of water and smaller dirty, brown puddles dotted the landscape, and ducks drank to their hearts' content, trying to avoid the bits of cabbage and other detritus.

Kenwood gave a sigh, knowing that, even after the garden had dried out and been tidied again, this was the rainy season, and a repeat performance was inevitable.

Later, Mrs Kenwood got busy cleaning up the mess, in order to restore some kind of order to the site.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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