Old Man Winter has reportedly turned over operational control of the winter season to his son, Biff, according to sources close to the personification of nature. Citing health issues, Old Man Winter made the announcement in late October, and his o…
After a wild afternoon and evening of incessant torrential rain yesterday, there was a horrible surprise in store for one man when he woke up this morning and looked out of his window to find that his back garden looked a little bit like Glastonbury.
Severe weather warnings across Europe have been issued, after high winds were spotted spiralling across the English Channel towards the continent. A weather watcher on the cliffs of Dover said he was able to make out a giant face in the swirling air,...
British award-winning freestyle rapper, Stormzy, is at a crossroads in his career this morning, after the second major extreme weather incident in two weeks battered the UK into submission under a torrent of rain, high winds and floods, leaving the s...
A crisis engulfed the sleepy Durham mining village of Grim today, as locals reported several strange weather events throughout the week. Residents were baffled when the usually incessant rain began to stop for up to 20 minutes a day. Geordie G...
Poor weather conditions in the Battambang area that left some roads barely passable, and others extremely treacherous, were the cause of several accidents on Monday, and one, in particular, involving a man who fell from a motorbike into a pile of cow...
Freakish weather conditions in the Battambang area Thursday meant there was a damp start to the day for one Englishman living in the area. Moys Kenwood, 55, reported how he awoke to the sound of cats and dogs falling on the metallic roof of his ba...
After enduring 4 snow days in a row Greg Smith realized he had nothing left to say to his kids. After exhausting conversations around snowmen, santa, legos, elf on a shelf and chicken nuggets Greg resigned himself to the fact that his kids really hav...
Local residents across the Caribbean Islands have woken up to find their usual warm and sunny climate is currently inaccessible due to an unusual winter blizzard that has slammed the region. Winds are howling at more than 70 mph, the Blizzard of 2...
The Met office today announced a change to the naming convention it has used for the last fifteen years. The change follows the increase in over the top reporting that follows when it gets a little bit windy outside, Normally, the storms a...
After a non stop barrage of natural disasters has made climate change deniers look like ninnies, several high profile culprits have started changing their tunes. Although, not everyone is ready to completely commit to the problem. Jim DeMint, Pre...
U.K. James Bond centre, MI6 was alleged by conspiracy theorists this morning to be behind a jetstream propelled "Weather Bomb" hitting the West of Scotland today. An ex Q department scientist, Dennis Llewellyn-Dyson told our Unlikely Conspiracy Depa...
Following last week's barometer breaking wind speeds, officials from someplace have announced plans to erect new wind breakers at several key locations around the United Kingdoom. Many unsavouries, previously thought upon as being especially savo...
Spring has refused to apologise for going on strike in Britain this year, instead citing immigrants, an unfortunate bout of Hepatitis B and government temperature cuts as a valid excuse for no longer giving a fuck whether elderly couples can drink Pi...
Sales of automatic weapons and assault rifles have almost trebled overnight in some north eastern States as Northerners prepare themselves for an onslaught of inclement weather. Forecasters have predicted a massive blizzard poised to dump up to 3...
Selma and Cedric Seeward, a couple from Dorking, took a caravanning holiday to Truro. All was going well, if a bit wet, when the caravan park was hit by six inches of rain in one hour, bursting the banks of the local river. "There was quite a lot of rain," said Selma. "Wasn't there Cedric?" "There was quite a lot of rain," Cedric confirmed. As the pair watched from the caravan window, the...
Bartholomew Utterswaithe, our 65 year old Nottingham correspondent and unemployed Gas Street lamp wick trimmer, found himself housebound the other day. Partly due to his arthritis, losing his free-bus-pass, the flapping holed sole of of his right shoe, and the lousy wet weather. He was straining a thrice-used Asda tea bag, and thought about what he might be missing on his cancelled wonderful...
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