Man Spent Day In Garden, Pulling Weeds

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 22 July 2020

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A man who is virtually at the end of his tether with the Coronavirus lockdown, has told of how he spent all day Wednesday in his garden, pulling weeds.

Not normally the sort of person that could easily be categorized as green-fingered, Moys Kenwood, 57, noticed that his back garden had been taken over by ugly weeds that were strangling his wife's flowers of both light and rainwater, and decided to act.

Armed with a digging tool and a scythe, he commenced an attack on the unwanted foliage with a zest that few in these parts will ever have witnessed.

Using his enforced confinement as inspiration, he swiped and swung with vigor, laying waste to greenery left, right and center, sending all manner of insects searching for new accommodation.

He punished the weeds for all he was worth, totally annihilating some dandelions, and utterly destroying a patch of nettles.

When he'd finished, he shouted to his wife to come and have a look at the good work he'd done. She said:

"Where's me roses gone?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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