A leading lonely hearts magazine has withdrawn advertisements for bird tables, which misleadingly claim that a certain brand of bird table will attract hundreds of 18-30 year old single women to suburban gardens.
The publicity photograph shows scantily clad women lounging on the wooden bird tables and taking baths in a twenty two metre bird bath.
Mr. B. Oddfellow told our reporter this morning that he had ordered six of the tables and a jumbo bird bath, thinking that his single days would be a thing of the past.
A spokesperson for the bird table manufacturer said, "I think people are expecting a different kind of bird. We are recalling the mark one tables which have pictures of tits on them. Because of these tit illustrations, people are letting their imaginations run away with themselves. They are basically dirty little men."