Nashville Man Reaps What He Sows and Finds He’s Not a Big Fan of Cucumbers

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Monday, 29 April 2019

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Johnny Clapper learned firsthand that we reap what we sow - in his case, cucumbers.

Eager to improve his life, Johnny Clapper of Nashville, Tennessee, took serious note of a neighbor’s passing remark that people reap what they sow – and was concerned when he realized that he himself wasn’t sowing anything.

“At first I thought that they were saying ‘sewing,’” said Johnny, with an embarrassed chuckle. “I thought they meant you should mend your socks or something. I would’ve been SOL on that one for sure.”

Unfortunately, when Johnny discovered that, in fact, the common wisdom referred to sowing, as in planting seeds, he wasn’t much better off. “I’d become so urbanized,” he said. “I 'd barely eaten a vegetable, let alone planted one, in probably eight months, at least. Unless you count a potato, which I don’t.”

In the interest of making a start on sowing some positive seeds, Johnny began cultivating cucumbers in a tiny plot of dirt in his back yard. They sprouted so rapidly that he soon implemented trellises to support them, and before he knew it, he had more cucumbers than he knew what to do with. To his disappointment, however, he found that he didn’t care much for their taste.

“They just don't really have a lot flavor," he said. “I’m thinking of pickling some of them – although I don’t want to get myself into a pickle, if you know what I mean.”

Johnny gave a rueful shrug. “If only I’d planted tomatoes – I love tomatoes! You can do so much with them - sauce, salsa, fried green, you name it. If I'd just planted tomatoes instead of cucumbers, I'd have loads and loads of them by now."

His face lit in sudden understanding, and he shook his head philosophically. "Oh," he said. "Now I get it. Lesson learned."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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