Man Doesn't Know Why He Bothers

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 23 July 2020

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Filthy tramp

A man who has been 'locked-down' since March due to worries over the spread of the Coronavirus, had, until recently, tried to maintain an air of normality about his everyday routine, but now feels it's all pointless, and says he doesn't really know why he bothers.

When his employer at the school where he works told him to go home until further notice more than four months ago, Moys Kenwood, 57, continued to rise early in the morning, shave and shower, and to make himself look presentable.

He made himself useful around the house, kept his children amused, and kept up external appearances, to show everyone that everything was just 'tickety-boo'.

But, keeping up a pretence of 'normalcy' for as long as he has, has finally started to take its toll. He said:

"I could do with a haircut. Even washing it might be a start!"

And his chin could do with tidying up a bit:

"I haven't had a shave for a week. It scares the kids."

His dress sense appears to have deserted him as well.

"Sometimes, I just sit around in my boxer shorts all day. What's the point in getting dressed, when you've nowhere to go?"

Other things have also been relaxed.

"Yes, I used to do exercise, eat properly with a healthy diet, and get plenty of sleep, but we're all going to die, so why bother?"

A swarm of flies buzzed around him as he spoke.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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