Grayling The Chair

Written by Backandtotheleft

Sunday, 21 June 2020

image for Grayling The Chair
This guy is a cunt (pictured not Chris Grayling)

Chris Grayling is to be appointed as the new Chair of the Intelligence Committee as the UK government goes through another restructuring. But for those lefty commentators rubbing their hands in glee at this clear own goal from Boris Johnson, things maybe not exactly as they seem….

Or they might be - you’ll have to read the rest of this to see where I’m going with it.

According to Back and to the Left's very trustworthy sources (he has our spare key) Chris Grayling will be the Chair of the Intelligence Committee but as an actual chair. Chris will be sat on for the duration of the meetings as a way of keeping an eye on him.

Declan DeWitt Conservative MP for Swoffom and Tofting (population 23) thinks it’s a great idea:

"I’ve often hired poorer people to act as furniture in my house, so I can see the PM’s thinking with this one. Chris has often, quite unfairly, been blamed for things that were completely his fault. Even in a time of the British public blaming running out of milk in the morning on Jeremy Corbyn, Chris still managed to receive his share of flak. A monumental achievement you must agree."

We did. It was admittedly surprising that, in a sea of terrible, terrible people, that Chris often stood out at being the most incompetent of the bunch.

DeWitt continued:

"The PM has communicated to us in the party that Chris is to be used as the chair for many committees, sub-committees and think tanks throughout the government structure. We’re hoping to build Chris’s reputation back up in the eyes of the media and British public, and eventually give him a shot at being Prime Minister."

Forgive our cynicism towards Mr Grayling, but even though he only has to kneel down and stay still to achieve his goals of being a chair, we fear that it may be a little beyond him.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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