COVID-19: Man Insisting That He Will 'Die Looking Good'

Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 25 May 2020

image for COVID-19: Man Insisting That He Will 'Die Looking Good'
The look Kenwood has been attempting to recapture

A man who will almost certainly 'bite the dust' when the Coronavirus eventually gets around to visiting him, has said that, rather than fight a useless battle, he will go willingly, but will go 'looking good'.

Moys Kenwood, 56, is in the wrong age group, and a Type-1 diabetic to boot, and doesn't fancy his chances of beating COVID-19 in a fight. With this in mind, has started to get his affairs in order.

Despite his pessimistic outlook, Kenwood is determined to look his best when the moment comes, and, with this in mind, he had a short haircut at the weekend, along with a close shave.

He's also been taking plenty of exercise: walking, gentle jogging, lifting some light weights at his home, and swimming in the river.

On several occasions, he's been oyster catching, which involves struggling against the river current, thus toning his muscles, and the sunlight and breeze have helped give his skin tone a healthy color.

He said:

"I know my card is marked, and my days are numbered, but when it's my turn to go, I'll be going in a presentable fashion."

As well as the physical improvements he's made, Kenwood has shined his shoes, and makes sure he changes his underpants every day.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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