Coronavirus Wasn't From A Road Killed Bat?

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Friday, 17 April 2020

image for Coronavirus Wasn't From A Road Killed Bat?
"Me? I would never do anything like that!"

Investigative Spoof reporters are looking into coronavirus. They've discovered that coronavirus or COVID-19 (19 because the pandemic started in 2019) may not have been the result of someone eating an infected bat purchased from a wet market.

A wet market is a market that sells fresh meat. Wet markets are sometimes a source of influenza viruses skipping from animals to humans. Like Alice’s Restaurant, one can buy anything at a wet market in China, including bats. And there are wet markets in Wuhan, China.

People have been eating bats since Eve offered Adam an apple. Bats may have even been the main course caught by Adam. So how come through the centuries, this pandemic hasn’t skipped from animal to human before?

Editor’s note: No sick bats consumed since the beginning of time?

Reply: Nope. And no coronavirus pandemic since the beginning of time.

The outbreak of coronavirus is said to have started in Wuhan, China.

A few blocks away from a wet market in Wuhan is the Wuhan Institute of Virology Laboratory. The lab is one of China’s top labs and was doing “biosafety research of human infectious diseases including coronavirus.”

It seems there were several cables to the State Department way back in 2018, that were uncovered by Washington Post reporter Josh Rogin. The cables warned of poor safety measures at the Wuhan Institute of Virology Laboratory.

The Wuhan Institute of Virology was also conducting work on bat coronavirus and possible human transmission.

U.S. embassy officials were so troubled by their observations that they cabled Washington of the risks, encouraging more considerable American assistance at the lab for its important but dangerous research.

Why is this type of research considered important? Why is it being done, to begin with? Who was funding this research? Was the research planned to be used in biological warfare? If so, there’s a war on now.

“The consensus among scientists specializing in emerging infectious diseases is that coronavirus jumped from animal to man.”

Pandora’s box is opened in Wuhan. Question remains, was it from the wet market or the Wuhan Institute of Virology Laboratory?

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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